Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Risk Of Dengue Fever Is Just Another Reason Cruises Suck - Jalopnik

I actually pay taxes

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Scientists Fear a Passing Star Could Fling Earth Out of the Sun's Orbit, Into the Frigid Expanse Beyond - futurism.com

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

China Rare-Earth Magnet Maker Gets Green Light for US Exports - Bloomberg

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

How did Kate Mulgrew feel about Jeri Ryan joining the cast of Star Trek: Voyager?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

The U.S. hasn’t seen a new confirmed human bird flu case in nearly 4 months — why? - Yahoo

I can count

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

What is the reason that Worcester, Massachusetts is not as well-known as Boston and Springfield, even though it is a large city with many neighborhoods?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Now Is The Best Time To See The Milky Way’s Glowing Core In All Its Glory - IFLScience

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand how hurricane paths work

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why hasn't Japan legalized same-sex marriage?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fakery

Black Cat's Walking Pad Technique Will Leave You Questioning Everything You Know About Exercise - PetHelpful

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Main distributor to Amazon’s Whole Foods hit by cyber attack - ft.com

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Accidental discovery at New York planetarium unlocks secret into universe’s inner workings - PBS

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

How can The Telegraph criticize US debt as a 'danger to the global economy' when the UK government is also drowning in debt?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

New discovery at the Grand Canyon has rewritten geology textbooks - Earth.com

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

What are some tips for braiding a woman's hair on a date?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Costco plans new checkout option members should love - TheStreet

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I can read

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t cotton to rapists